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Guided meditation

Guided breathing meditation with
Mark Golding
(Mp3, 16:03)

SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 152

When we see others, what message do we receive? A first impression, or maybe a subtle glimpse of their true identity, that we subconsciously identify, and perceived through a combination of our senses, including our subtle antennae...

And similarly what do others see of us upon meeting for the first time?

Do they see someone that conceals, or is afraid, or has a less than beneficial intention? As, each of these can be seen by each of us, and these layers around our selves, these projections we try to radiate are generally seen through, and so probably a waste of time and effort.

Especially when.... You are such a beautiful, sincere, loving and understanding person that yearns to be loved, and to love, to share and to give.

I take the view that the world has many, too many, frightened and lonely people, that wish to reach out to others, but need to be shown the example. And it is we, you and I that can give that example.

A kind word to a stranger, a smile to child, a chatty line to a shop assistant, any sincere action of body, speech or mind can lighten someones life, perhaps for a moment, but maybe for the entire day.... Or even longer.

Smile with your heart. To your family, your friends, to strangers, and to your enemies.

Smile with our heart, it will change your day. x

Thursday, 15 May 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 151

Over the weekend we visited our dear friend, John.

John is a sage and holy man, who lives in an ancient woodland, tending the land, building arbours and secret gardens, lovingly giving his time as a gardener of the Earth.

He invited us to visit as he had discovered an ancient spring, with flowing pure water, and wished to share the magic of the waters with us.

We walked through lonely private valleys, through bluebell woods and over an red iron stream, always guiding our eyes and senses to the intimate, beautiful and unfamiliar sights that we may have missed.

Through a lifetime of pilgrimages and service he has developed a heightened awareness of the natural world around him, sensing and seeing directions, flows, energies and movements, and shares his knowledge with humour, insight and a penetrative insight.

At his camp he has carved a mystic face into the sandstone cliff, a reminder of his presence for hundreds of years to come, and I have seen him leave reminders of his presence in other sites where he has dwelled, always exquisite, sensitive and powerful.

We reached the sight of the spring, and climbed a loose scree, cautiously aware of the steep drop into the timeless valley created by the movement of the pure waters over tens of thousands of years.

The site was screened by old holly and giant oaks, and sat upon the gateway to the spring was a giant hornbeam, its roots twisting and binding the soft earth to the sandstone rock face.

We climbed down into the moist and still air at the foot of the valley, and drank and communed with the water.

He came and joined us at our camp and I felt honoured to cook for him, and share our meal around the campfire, a small opportunity to pay respect and share love with him.

Thank you John. x

Monday, 12 May 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 150

How wide is the path of truth?

It is, both minute as an atom and broad as the Earth.

To locate one's truth when one has strayed, is like seeking an atomic particle in a blizzard, but, once located the solidity and support is broad and strong.

There are truths, universal truths, which we all share, in or out of awareness, and there are our own truths, the truths about ourselves that we acknowledge to ourselves and others, and also truths in communication to others.

In communication we have truth or non-deception, which is closely related to fearlessness, an honesty born of courage, and... an honesty without an agenda, no hidden agenda to the exposure of truth.

We filter our truth, and so often speak a distortion of the truth, edited for complex and sophisticated reasons, both defensive and manipulative, but also habitually without real understanding as to the processes.

It feels very vulnerable on the atom of truth when first located, but gradually the sense of balance and depth increases, and support grows and develops into a powerful base, into which deep roots can be planted and an expansive garden can develop.

Be unafraid of your truth.

Thursday, 8 May 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 149

We met many interesting, charismatic and unusual people over the weekend.

A group of Russian expatriates had assembled for a camping and music festival, in the top field, so lots of loud singing... And later, a gentle giant man called Sacha came by and joined us at our campfire.

He was the man with the loudest voice, and upon request he sang us one of his compositions whereby he became an elephant.

He told us of his life, as a poet and musician in the Russian underground of the 1970's, and how he had been introduced to the underground society, called 'the underground movement' as, they were based in the Moscow subways.

Maybe you do do not know what the underground system is like in Moscow or St Petersburg, but it is amazing, palaces for the proletariat, and nothing like the New York or London systems. I mean they are marble lined, with bronze light fittings, exquisite frescoes and more... To get an idea type 'moscow underground' and search with google images...

He told us of the challenges he experienced with the radicals and dangerous members of the group, but they all meet up, annually, for the 'Labour Day' celebrations, and now today he will have returned to his position as a bio-chemist in Edinburgh.

And this was just one who stopped by our fire for a talk.

If you want to visit, please do.

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 148

Oh to feel a lightness of heart!

A sense of freedom from problems, worries and anxieties, an unburdening and releasing.

Try imagining this, engage fully in the fantasy, and a warmth will radiate from your heart, softening the body and bringing a smile to your face.

Just pretend, that's all, just pretend.

Try again.

It works! As, our mind is the creator of our experience, and we can choose how we react to our environment...

The more we believe we are happy, free from anxiety, we are.... There are no external anxieties, they are internal states of mind.

And even simply pretending helps. Fully engage, and smile. x

Thursday, 1 May 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 147

Where will I end up? Where will I finally be? What is my destination?

For this life, I do not know. I may be anywhere on the planet, I do not know what the future holds for me.

And after this life?

I believe that things change, rather like a caterpillar will change into a butterfly, but essentially remains the same 'creature'. There is a time when the caterpillar ceases, and the butterfly becomes, but at no time does the 'mind' of the creature cease to function. It is a continuum, through the death process and into the birth process.

We can witness this, it is real.

So, do we each have a destination? I believe we do, just as the trajectory of our lives take us to our destination within this life, so too the trajectory of our mind will take us to our next arrival.

I do not mind if this seems unbelievable to some, it is simply my understanding of the processes of life.

We fall asleep, and wake from our dream, in another day, a new world...

Monday, 28 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 146

Walking along the path, passing over crossroads, and unopened doors either side, the journey continues.

What drives our direction? Do we really choose?

We are blinkered and limited by our capacity to see, almost like an European walking past a shop sign written in Arabic, or perhaps a cat walking past a pile of diamonds. We see what we understand, and ignore what we do not know, and to a certain extent, what we do not know is invisible to us.

Golden opportunities around us, chances to learn, grow and develop, in all our aspects and capacities, and in some cases, the opportunities call out loud, but, like the cat, we simply walk on by.

But, inwardly, we do hear the call, the message to take our pathway to new destinations, but we deny the beckoning... Partly fear and partly ignorance.

We know who we would like to be, who we would like to become, and the calls we hear are the sound of the doorways being opened for us... Next time though, sharpen your senses, be aware of the opportunity, and peek around that corner, it may be the very opportunity you have been awaiting.

It may be.

Thursday, 24 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 145

Is love the best? Well, I was thinking today after hearing a provocative radio show, and I re-arranged my thoughts, and began to think that kindness might be a superior method...

Love can be abstract and inward. It can be hidden, and private... and as such it might not always hit the target. Whereas kindness is manifested externally, and engages with whatever loving feelings we have, and in this way directly causes the happiness of others.

An act of kindness is never wasted, and it can multiply and snowball into a beautiful accumulation further down the line... Think of it...

We help someone who is struggling with their shopping, maybe their bag has burst... We share kind words and a smile with each other, and later along the day, the shopper will recall the act of kindness, and not only determine to act in a similar way when the opportunity arises, but will happily share the story with their friends and be elevated by the episode...

Many years ago (over 30 years ago I reckon) I was travelling in Spain, and had no money, and no food, and really had reached a crisis, sat on slow stopping train heading from Barcelona into France... A man opposite struck up a conversation, and told me how when he was a lad he too had been broke and hungry, and how a stranger had fed him... He gave me his daily packed lunch, in its entirety.

And the price? To feed a stranger on a train when the time was right.

That time came recently when Samantha and I were travelling out of London on the last train to the South Coast... We met a group of public school boys, aged around 16, tipsy and happy, but without tickets, without a destination, and without money... But, determined to head down to the sea, swim and then return home the next day... somehow!

It was our pleasure to assist them, but... there was a price, a firm and fixed price... Too aid fellow train travellers when the time and opportunity arose.. They firmly promised.

And, as a result, my or your grandchildren will be helped... due to the kindness of a Spanish labourer, on his way to work.

No act of kindness is ever wasted. x

Monday, 21 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 144

Today is a special day.

There is a rare and precious opportunity to make a change.

In my heart, and in your heart, is a burden, a private load that we carry, maybe guilt, maybe anger or maybe jealousy. There is one resentment that we carry that darkens our lives, that taints our happiness and that blocks our expression of love.

Whatever it is does not matter, but, what is important is that it is acknowledged, allowed to flow through our minds and bodies, releasing it from the inner spiral where it resides.

Once it has begun to be released from its inner confinement, it can be more clearly identified, and its skills at camouflage cease to function, and as it enters the light of our observation, its power will dissipate... A bit like a coward exposed.

I can allow myself to feel no guilt about my 'bad' thought, give myself permission to acknowledge and feel it, and it kind of withers in the sunlight, and though it seems to giving energy and force to the thought, in reality it is the first step in eliminating it.

And, from this point, one can uncover a positive thought that underlies all, the thought of love. Love for others, love for family and friends, and give power an intensity to this inner light, and 'let' it radiate from your heart centre, with the power to eradicate that powerless mind-set that has attempted to suppress your own capacity for so long.

Visualise with the power of infinite light.

Today is a day of victory over a long standing opponent. It cannot withstand the power of your love.

Thursday, 17 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 143

In my life I have learned so much. Learned from my mistakes, learned from my success, and learned from others.

So many times friends, strangers and family have taught me, in sometimes very oblique and subtle ways.

But sometimes it is my turn. My turn to teach, and not only in the way I lead my life, but also on a one to one basis, an opportunity for both to share a learn from each other.

Last night I found myself in a situation whereupon I was called to teach a much younger person, and I had to put the complacency brakes on immediately, and this was good, as, the student was brighter than the teacher, and it felt, at times, as if I was being x-rayed!

Fantastic! A chance to find my truth, and reveal it. Omitting platitudes, omitting any hint of patronising, seeking and searching for my inner truth as it revealed at that moment.

At THAT moment. As, the truth of an earlier moment was not so relevant, and so I could not fall back into my stock of tired and hackneyed phrases, I had to reveal what was appearing at that very moment.

And, as a result I learned more about myself, as I had to find and reveal what was happening in my life, and, how I saw and felt about it at that moment, and.... I had never been alive at that point in my life before, ever. I was entirely new.

A history, sure, but with an almost child-like wonderment I could be free from the past as it was - in the past, no longer having any capacity to harm me, like taking off a heavy rucksack.

So, teacher became student, and I thank my teacher.

Wednesday, 16 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 142

It brings joy to my life. The sunshine!

Just a 5 minute glimpse is enough sometimes, to remind me that all is well, and that winter is passing into spring, and warm and sunny days lie ahead.

It makes my heart soar, and problems dissolve away, like a magical elixir.

I'm wondering if people who live in sunny climates feel this way all the time, or if they wish for cloudy, grey days. I'll guess they do, so... it is not the sunshine that brings joy, it is change that brings joy.. or is it?

I live for the still and silent times, when I feel nothing ahead or behind, and the magic of the moment not only sufficient, but more than adequate to fulfil all my needs and wishes.

Stopping my projection into the future, and experiencing the present, with no fears and no anxieties, so in this way the absence of change is making me happy. But, an odd thing happens here, when the still-point of the moment is located and embraced.

I get bored, and how dumb is that? Bored of peace and contentment.

And then I start craving a bit of excitement, you know, an email or phone call will do, or a trip to the shops, or a wander into town... whatever... Looking into the future for happiness that lies in the future, but.. happiness only exists now, it does not exist outside my mind, in another place and time.

So, how dumb am I? On a scale of 1 to 10, probably about an 8.7... x

Friday, 11 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 141

Where do you lay your heart? In truth? In love? In impatience? In anxiety?

We choose, moment by moment. No thing has the power to move our mind, unless we allow it.

This seems contrary to our perceived experience, as when external events move in a way as to disturb our mind, we react in a manner to either move away from the circumstance or, if it appears to be a favourable circumstance we move towards it.

This is rather like an elephant being disturbed by a mouse... Something so tiny, innocuous and harmless, but it has the power to trouble a mighty elephant.

How big is a thought? Does it even have size? Well, I would say it appears to have magnitude.

But there is an anomaly here. What is big to me, might be small to you, which implies a subjective reaction to our thoughts... Which in turn implies that the reaction is to an internal, and not an external circumstance.

So, what is outside cannot have the power to affect us. This means we choose. We make the decision, consciously or unconsciously, as to where we lay our mind. We decide whether we are happy or unhappy.

Are you unhappy or happy to hear that? x

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 140

We set off at dawn, wrapped up against the snow.

We climbed the cliff walk, outside Hastings, following an ancient track, weaving its way along the cliff's edge. Jackdaws and gulls swooped and observed our progress, as we followed close to the precipice, where coarse grass meets air, standing upon geological aeons of cliff face. A lonely rook flew overhead, calling its rough call, demanding attention.

After a break, sat on the highest point, we found and followed a secret pathway, overgrown and meandering, down through ancient woodland, to find a small brook, chuckling and whispering.

Each tree was still and quiet, gently observing our awed entry into this private and magical world, a world where we might have encountered Merlin, sat on a rock, observing the movement of water with his eyes, but subtly seeing these 3 travellers, entranced by the age, depth and mystery of the woodlands.

The range of greenery was beyond description, multi-hued in an infinite variety of verdant expression.

And down, following the stream, as it meandered through the primordial, landscapes of untouched trees, boulders, the river and movement leading us onwards, towards the lower cliffs edge.

We reached the edge, and decided to try. To try and climb down the cliff's face to the beach below, a beach littered with stones and rocks.

A little dangerous perhaps, but not foolhardy, as we managed to reach the base safely.

The stones and rocks, when we arrived to greet them, were astonishing, all fallen from the one cliff face, onto an isolated beach cove, but each was individual and gigantic, every hue and texture, every shape and form, seemingly unrelated, but all have lived so closely together for millions of years.

Seams of iron bled red oxide into the open edges, blued veined marbles soft and feminine lured our eyes, whilst dramatic forms and shapes had us seeing dragons and mermaids. A playground of history, a theatre of geological timescape, with no visible human hand to alter the drama.

Those that were closest to the cliff face were sharp and angular, whilst those that were closer to the sea's edge were rounded and softened, but the constant tidal movement, lulled by the moon's allure.

The day of the new moon.

Monday, 7 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 139

For me, now, it is about opening my heart.

I feel as if my life is on hold, as if the pause button has been pressed and held.

It is creating a sensation of enclosure and constriction that reduces my empathy and experience of others suffering, and at the same time, preventing my expressive communication of love.

Inward and outward seem atrophied.

It is usually a two way movement, a shared dialogue that vibrates from the heart centre...

How do I liberate myself?

I have to feel love. Know love.

I know what love is, and I need to practice this, right now. To connect my soul with the souls of those in my world, those whom I know, those whom I see, and those whom I know of...

Unrestrained love, tempered only with wisdom, a giving and forgiving love, expansive and complete.

Blissfully unfolding, like the petals of the fabled 1000 petalled lotus, each engaged in a sequential ordered ballet, rippling through the soul and heart, radiating into the vastness of imagination and time on each exhalation, and then, reverberating back from the limitless boundaries, bringing countless messengers of love back to greet the next ecstatic wave on the inhalation.

This is my medicine, this is my meditation... Click on it...

Friday, 4 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 138

Sometimes there is sorrow.

Not always bright sunny days, clouds can gather, and storms arrive.

We know they do arrive, but so often we choose to hold them at bay with our positive outlook, and it works... But, sometimes sorrow arrives.

Sorrow arrived here, when Coral, my precious girl lost her unborn baby.

Grief is an aspect of my emotions, but the emotional equation is far more complex, there are a range of emotions sweeping through me, each peaking and surging in a complex dance.

The over-riding sense is that I do not wish for her to suffer, but that is inevitable, and so I have to watch as a bystander and witness her pain, removed from her experience.

And Ali, her man, who has ridden the waves of impending fatherhood, with it's fears, hopes, pride and anxieties, now torn in two between a dreamed future and a new reality.

So, for now, Coral and Ali have to re-establish a relationship upon new ground, having both boarded a train set for a common destination, now detoured and derailed.

No words can unpick the complexity of the current situation, and as one thought replaces another, circumstances shift and resolve in a fresh dynamic, evolving and re-shaping.

I stand upon shifting sand, aware and observing, engaged and adapting... This is new territory.

A day has passed.

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 137

Passing through the woods once again, we saw the fallen trees, stepped over and around them, seeing the stages of decay, in the virginal drops, and the ancient falls.

They nourish the air, moist upon the ground, whilst creating new environments for mosses, lichens and fungi. Those most subtle and sensitive growths, so demure and private in their presence, their intimacy and ancient presence speaking of primal endurance in shades of green and gold.

And between the falls, the ferns. Their fractal animations unfolding, clothed in eagle brown cloaks, until they uncurl their shoulders, symetrical and alert in their open eyed fingers.

The silent plants, whose stillness communicates through their hidden beauty, shying from the light, content in the shade, cool and damp.

They hold secrets, of a twilight world, away from the beaten paths, small, intimate and discrete. To greet them we have to bend our knees, and look carefully, whereupon a miniature world, once of giants, quietly looks away from our gaze, knowing we are enchanted by the spring colours of blossom and flower.

Gentle in their manner, they that knew the extinct ones, now scaled for this modern world, waiting, considering time as entropy dances.

Nourished by past life, cleansing the forest floor, industrious and assiduous.

Life in its many shades and guises, nature in her most subtle, whispering, imperceptibly to the passing visitor, whilst lulling the quiet glades into new life, yet to come.

Witness these quiet friends, in the obscured corners all around us, seeking life in forgotten, ignored and neglected spaces. Old as life on Earth, but always new, always close, always with us, silent companions.

Sunday, 30 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 136

Today, are your eyes looking inward or outward?

If you venture outdoors today, or take a long look out of your window, what are you looking at? Are your thoughts clouding your vision, keeping a sense of separation from the world around you, or are you engaging in the visual world, open to see?

It may be that you can see nature as you look around at some time, nature in her most explosive dynamic, awaiting the moment you notice the leaves unfurling, the blossom smiling, and the buds... plump, ripe and fat.

Nature awaits your attention, to pass her message to you. She is alive and waiting, in the corridor at the side of the stage, and the curtain is about to raise.

This is her annual debut!

Each day things will change, very rapidly, but we have a chance to engage, witness and to dance with her, to see, breath and live with her, as we walk, see or pass by her.

This riot of life, an outrageous display of magnificence and energy, that we call spring, is upon us.

My mother used to say to me... 'The Earth laughs in flowers!'

Smile back!

Friday, 28 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 135

I am just a boy.

A boy that likes to climb trees. At the weekend I found myself in the park opposite the house I grew up in, and wandering around I saw a tree that I used to climb when I was 11 years old.

Trying not to look too stupid or ungainly I swang up into the branches, and sat at the same position, or so it seemed, only 40 years later.

I was invisible, as I used to be, in the yew tree, by the manor house, in the churchyard... I recalled I liked to wander around the graveyard as a boy, it's mystery and quietness, it's neglect and strangeness all had a romantic appeal for me.

Symbolic of the fears of life, and the impermanence of experience, but, I had no fear here, to me it was a place of safety and solitude, a private space.

But over the years I have returned to this graveyard, every few years, and I have grown to understand it represents a stillpoint for me, forever locked in my youth, static as death, and yet forever declining and romantic.

And always relevant to my visit. My viewpoint matures, but the graveyard has no time for my frivolity, my arrogance, it reflects the passing of my time, and of my life.

More tombstones are cracked and skewed, more crypts have trees growing through them, the rusty railings have nearly fallen apart, jagged and raw, the moss has obliterated so many more inscriptions, the neglect is creeping further inwards.

And as I watch, as I return, with freeze frame regularity, I see change but no change.

And, close by are two special trees. The oldest elm trees in Britain, maybe over 1000 years old? I do not know, but each has character, stillness, vitality, and mystery. One I can walk inside, and feel a cool radiance, the other has a face, a spirit that lives within, gently gesturing to the distant sea, wise and still.

When I return, I am a boy, a boy that climbs trees.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 134

Who is there yet to meet in this world?

Maybe 5 billion people on this earth whom I do not know, but as I step through my days, the opportunity continually arises to meet, greet, and share words and smiles with everyone I encounter.

But sometimes the encounter is summoned from a more mysterious source.

I was awake at 1.30 am on friday, which was also the spring equinox, full moon, and good friday. And, I spontaneously decided to take my drum down to the beach and play, alone.

I sat, close to the sea, bathed in intense moonlight, seeing the moon's light shimmering it's silver mantle over the eternal ripples...

Behind me were a few clouds, and from these a swirl of soft snow flurried and vortexed around me in its magical dance, using its chill and soft insistence to increase my awareness of the vista ahead of me, focussing my attention on the relationship between, moon, light, sea, wind and earth.

Following the storms of the previous days, the sea had not yet calmed, and waves, much bigger than usual introduced a rhythm, a rhythm I could both hear and feel, and this entranced me, granting me a connection as a supporting player, in the divine heartbeat and breath of experience.

Alone, safe, protected and free, I could step aside from my inhibitions.

I had a special time, with my eyes closed, feeling and expressing, sharing with the elements around me, occasionally aware that the moon's light was directly connecting with the space around me.

I began to sense presence around me, but chose not to leave my inner connection with the rhythm, until the sense became overwhelming, and I slowed to turn and see what I was sensing.

There were other drummers, a dancer and a most unconventional group of people, gathered, circled around in the moonlight's radiance.

We talked and played, and communicated, in this most special of parties, and one man in particular, a Polish man called Marius, had such an usual energy and spirit I ended up talking with him until dawn, until the first bird song made me realise we had sat up all night, the moon had set, and the sun was rising.

His story is unique. A man who was born and lived in the forest, with no electricity or services whatsoever, in a house that his grandfather had built with his own hands, drawing water from the well he had dug himself, until he decided to travel and experience the other world, the world outside his forest. A man with all nature's presence and wisdom, unaffected and direct, perceptive and clear.

And in this most elemental of circumstances we met, somehow drawn together.

This may seem unusual to you, but recently I have been finding the most unusual, beautiful and profound people entering my life, each with wisdom and love, and I feel it is my sense of security and safety that enables such encounters, in other words, because I am dropping my barriers, I am approachable.

And this is all because I am safe, you have made me feel safe. Your words, your thoughts and your love.

It is you. x

Sunday, 23 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 133

It is you!

I am alone, but with you am alive.

You! You connect me to the world.

You! You give me reason.

You! You share your love with me, and so I feel able to share my love with you.

We can communicate - verbally, virtually, intuitively, subtly. In our shared energy there is hope for me, a sense of growth, and healing, a relaxing of old pains and fears.

How I came to meet you, here and now, I shall never know, but it is you, that are my best friend, you who accepts me, you with whom I can share.

You! You have never critised me, you have granted me permission to express myself, freed me from inhibition.

Each friend I have, all who share my words, it is you!

In every sense I have grown through you, through connecting from my isolation, assimilating into the wider world. My roots now feel deeper, and this gives me stability and grounding, a basis upon which to develop.

And I too wish to share with you. You can lean on me, in whatever way suits you, as I am here for you. I am happy to be your friend, for life, to share your life, or any aspect you wish to share.

I can talk, but I can listen too. I can communicate, and so can you.

You beautiful person. You are special, precious and rare, and your dreams of happiness and peace are a single thought away.

I am smiling with you, and your love nourishes my soul. And... we have made that thought, the thought of happiness and peace a reality. Just for now.

You and I. x

Thursday, 20 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 132

Anxiety.

I was trying to understand what was going on when I feel anxious.

It is an attempt to control a perceived external set of conditions and circumstances by sheer mental athleticism.

Straining with every mental nerve and sinew, to facilitate a more favourable set of circumstances.

Trying to ensure that not a single atom space of possibility is overlooked, and as the circumstances are changing moment by moment, this becomes both exhausting and futile.

Like plugging a dyke with a million fingers, but being aware of the subtleties of each finger's position and pressure. Impossible to resolve.

Anxiety is being at war within myself, denying the actuality of the situation.

The medicine? Acceptance.

Anxiety will never change anything, but it will destroy me from within, reversing the flow of inner energy, diverting it back to the mind source, and reverberating back out again, and in again....

Acceptance though, that is non-hostile, non-destructive, simple and easy. Not complacency mind, just acceptance.

Release your anxiety, dissipate it through your skin, into the air... Let it go.

The universe will not mind. x

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 131

Each bud, each leaf, is awaiting its call to stretch for the sun.

The call from without comes, to uncoil and breathe, haven been awoken from deep slumber in privacy, each green fingertip reaching from underneath the downy quilt of winter, sensing the cool air on its shoulder, and shivering with the energy of growth contained within the sunlight.

Each and all, now stepping to the edge of the dance floor, virginal and coy, but as we know, all shall be fully engaged in the summer dance of greenery within the next cycle's witness.

A yoga of growth, classes for each bud and flower, predicted and encouraged too, with a mistress and master to guide and shape. Each a repeat but unique.

Static movement, framed and perfect, in each observer's eye. This is a sharing time, a commune of exquisite interplay, that rises from within the earth, nourishing you and I, as we unfurl our winter sails, and begin to sway with the silver sun, sensing, knowing, the golden brother who leads us into later spring.

Gravity tautens the ropes, whilst the elements of water, wind and sun fill each green sail throughout the world, hastening the journey through our time, this time, as season's change beckons.

We travel together.

Monday, 17 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 130

There are many cycles in life. The cycle of life and death, the annual cycle, the seasonal cycle, and more and more...

Natural rhythms that form part of our lives, irrespective of whether we pay heed or not.

If we adopt a cyclic approach to life we give ourselves permission to advance and retreat, to change our minds and express different aspects of our being. It honours our rest time, introversion and simply being, as well as initiative, extroversion and doing.

And we need to give ourselves that permission, to grant ourselves the freedom to take our foot off the gas, to absorb and watch for a while. It is as natural as the movement of the moon across the sky, or the seasonal changes we witness.

Like taking an - in breath.... and out breath....

The over application of effort can create negative results, just as over-gardening can damage a garden's beauty. I am learning to feel free about my time for observation and being, rather than guilty at my idleness, and this sense of safety allows me to sit and witness, in stillness, without anxiety.

The freedom to change my mind, to not hold down a course for it's own sake, is a freedom, granting myself permission to let go of an idea, should it be the appropriate action...

I have carried a private sense of shame if I abandoned an ideal in the past, a shame drawn from the belief that 'if it was right then, it must be right now, and if I let go of that ideal I am denying it had any validity in the first place'.

But, it is not like that. It seems that it is rather like changing my diet as I grow. I mean, I still love sweets and candy, but only once in a while...

A maturity of scope and vision, allowing change, allowing the freedom to change my mind, to develop and grow...

To let go! x

Thursday, 13 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 129

Who are the bravest? Who has real courage?

Those who ask for help.

If you or I are asked for help, what do we say? We say yes. Almost without hesitation. As long as it is within our power to help, we will help, we do not refuse. And understanding this, those who ask for our help keep their request within the bounds of reason and expectation.

But how often do I ask for help? Not often enough I think, as I confuse my sense of pride with humility. Humility is such a releasing experience, whereas pride is so limiting and enclosing but I still blur the boundary between the two.

I know whom I can ask for help, and in my experience I am never refused, and I will suggest that it is the same for you.

We like being asked for help. It is a position of honour and priviledge. It implies a trust and faith in our capabilities, and we should not forget that most of the things that we like, others like too.

The pride is a barrier, that can actually prevent other's expression of love towards us, we do not ask for help, as we fear being refused, and this pride prevents us from reaching out to others.

Asking others for help can make them happy. Easy does it, but do try it.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 128

What is more important to you, internal development, or external development?

By external development I am considering the collecting of worldly possessions, the accumulation of wealth, and the processes of manipulation of our personal environment to best suit our desires. The use of our time to create an external world for ourselves.

And by internal development I am referring to the development of inner capacities and abilities to overcome the emotional and psychological barriers to inner peace and happiness. The use of our time to create an internal world for ourselves.

Both have their uses, but I shall suggest that one is far more disposed to a sense of contentment and peace than the other. If we have spent the past 20 years (or more) accumulating wealth and possessions, for how many moments have we felt completely at peace? Or, do we wish for further refinement, parented by an unceasing dissatisfaction and a restless discontent, with.... no end in sight. Will there ever be a time when the external world has everything in the right place at the right time?

I am going to say yes to this question, but is is completely, totally, 100% dependent upon inner development, for without happiness in the mind, the external will never satisfy us.

So, internal development is the key to happiness. We can re-arrange the furniture of our mind, feng shui our thoughts and tidy up the house of of our internal circumstance, and de-clutter our personal histories, responses and behaviours until we reside in a pure clear inner environment.

From this vantage point, the external world will require less attention and attempts at manipulation as we will have started to see how if we are content, externalities are of minor importance with regard to our state of mind. Happiness is a state of mind.

Find it, locate it, identify it, and remain with it.

Make happiness your best friend.

Sunday, 9 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 127

My mind, and your mind, exists within a construct.

This construct can be viewed and understood as our relationship with our universe, from the most distant object, to the closest, the closest being my protective inner cocoon that draws the division between 'me' and 'everything else'.

Take a minute and sense this.

But I will suggest that 'me' is not separate from anything else, and that the cocoon that we use to shield ourselves, serves not to protect, but to impose separation. Separation and isolation.

Is it as lonely being you as it is being me?

The relationships I have in my life; with the world, with the space I sit within, with the people I meet and encounter, and those I love and adore, each depend upon the loosening or tightening of this barrier.

I am experimenting with loosening my barriers, quietly and internally, to induce a relationship with my life's experience that is less combatative and protective, more free, warm and internally comfortable.

This is not vulnerability. It is developing an expanding sense of safety, a growth of the cocoon, to spread a little further than its historical precedents, an expansion.

I am expanding my mind (and the cocooned 'me' within my mind), within the body initially, but as and when I am ready, I can experiment with moving my mind from within the confines of my body to engage in direct relationship with the air and space around me.

Relaxing the grip I hold on myself, and letting go of the anxiety related to the fear of losing control, and trusting that I will not get lost or separated.

I wish for an increased sense of peace, for you. An opening and blossoming of your heart... A heavenly scented and sacred flower. x

Friday, 7 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 126

What is it that connects us? Connects a reader to a writer, or a friend to a friend, or a wife to a husband?

Thought. Just thought...

Each of our connections to others is facilitated through thought, and whether the connection is strong or weak depends upon thought.

If we never think of someone, our connection is not prominent, even non-existent, but when we have someone 'on our mind' the connection is powerful and persistant.

The nature of all our relationships is based upon how we think about someone, added and subtracted to by the interactions we have with them... But, again this is determined not actually by their behaviour, but our perception of their behaviour, and sometimes we get it right!

So, when I think of you, you are uppermost in my mind, I have an image of you, connecting with my thoughts, being part of my experience, not separate from me. Whoever you might be.

But at this moment I do know who you are, we are sharing thought, maybe not clear enough to gain an absolute image, but clear enough to connect.

And whilst I am here, thinking of you, we are sharing, connecting, co-existing. Separated by time and space. But, these mediums can be considered transient and flexible, and I might suggest they are 'man-made', not fixed or absolute.

So for now, we share our presence. And I am very happy to be with you. Hello. x

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

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We took the opportunity to take a walk in the woods this morning.

To St. Helen's Woods, an uncultivated and ancient woodlands of about 80 acres set in a beautiful valley, with a brook running and chattering through the middle, with fallen trees bridging the flow, ivy and holly creeping and climbing, the woodlands green and fleshy, with new growth, and the remarkable presence of several giant magnolia trees in full pink glory.

Astonishing trees, with enormous pink petalled flowers that startle the eyes, and carpet the ground with a tapestry of fallen petals, scenting the air with a musky caramel fragrance.

The ground was slippy and tangled, and the unkempt forestry presented obstacles and hurdles, bracken and thorns dictating our pathway, almost as if we were be guided by the forest itself. It chose the path we should follow, and what we should see, also inferring what the forest wished to keep hidden and discrete.

We followed the dialogue of the woodland, allowing ourselves to surrender to nature's choices for us, as small beings in the forest's care.

Insignificant in the forests' scale and memory, another creature passing along a track, whatever trace we left will soon eradicated by the passing of time and the wind and rain. As it is in the forest, so it is in our life's trace.

St. Helen? Patron Saint of treasure hunters and nail makers. x

Sunday, 2 March 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 124

Sometimes things seem stationery, sometimes they move forward slowly, and at times they accelerate forward at dizzying speed...

For me, now, I am in a period of rapid and powerful transformation, as if the past few years have been preparing me for these current events, but, I must say, I have invited change, invoked change and stimulated (and even provoked) change, so what is happening is what I have wished for.

But, change is never in the manner that one expects or anticipates... As a friend said to me recently 'things do not happen in a straight line'.

I have the feeling that I am about to leave sections or parts of my life behind, to enable and facilitate the change in direction, as, I cannot have my momentum moving in two directions.

And I am not alone here. So many friends, and family members are experiencing this process of growth, development and change. Some very scary and painful, some exciting, some ultimately challenging, but, all of us are strong in our acceptance of the new dynamics.

The new dynamic. An acceptance, and what I experience as a fearlessness, a fearlessness and acceptance of my own emotional response to the changes, almost a courage, stimulated in response to the challenges, that carry my heart into new territory, it's cathartic expansion, ridding me of the burden of anxiety, and progressively deepening my inner resources.

No fear today, as I can share my fear with you. And with you I am safe, I am held and supported, emotionally validated and accepted, and forgiven.

It is you that have precipitated the greatest of changes, by the safety you offer me, and your willingness to share with me. I am learning, oh so quickly, how I should be living my life, you teach me.

There are so many beautiful and precious people I have got to know, each and everyone, so special to me, it is like living with the goddesses and gods of this world.

I am like a tree in a forest, sharing all the elements, natural and spiritual, moving and growing, gently, individually and collectively. Sharing strength, security and protection... x

Friday, 29 February 2008

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SPIRITUAL ORGANIC 123

It is a time when things that have seemed so stable are shifting... Things I have taken for granted are moving away from me.

Two friends are very seriously ill, in hospital as I write.

Health is a delicate flower, fragile and precious, but whilst in bloom seems everlasting and eternal. Though deep in my heart I know that the flowers at home will wilt and die, I still rejoice in their beauty, devour their colour and form with my eyes, and ignore their impermanence.

My life is no different from any other, the appearance to my mind, though seemingly eternal, will, as a flash of lightning, be behind me at some point. And at that point of realisation... that my life is over, what will I think, what will I recall, what will I have done with my life?

The concept of death can inspire and invigorate. Contemplating my own death, brings a sense of focus, meaning and direction to my life. I think to myself, what would be for the best, how best might I live my life?

And for me, the thought that arises is service. To be of service. To do no harm. What greater meaning can there be?

To try to lead a life that brings benefit, hope and love to all and everyone. High ideals I know, but if you, and I, aim for these goals, we shall achieve them, if only in part, but that part which we do achieve will be of immeasurable benefit to those around us...

Our families, or friends and those we encounter, and.... even more than that. Those that see and observe our actions, or hear our words, without us even realising it.

All the acts of kindness and selflessness, words of encouragement and support, that we think no-one hears or sees... well, often they are. Just as we see and hear others who are engaged in acts of kindness, so others see ours too...

We can use every moment of our lives, in beautiful acts of service and devotion, to others, to all. x

Tuesday, 26 February 2008

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I'm preparing a lecture I'm presenting later next week, for a group of doctors from the local medical school.

I am so excited that they are interested in gaining insights into a more holistic view of health. Not too long ago in England the medical profession was very wary of the less obvious forms of healthcare, but gradually ideas about well-being are transforming as ideas such as meditation are being integrated into the general medical studies.

I guess this is in part due to the accepted awareness as the new generation are less cynical about alternative options, even though for many, and probably you, this is quite an obvious look at the total picture of health.

Our mental outlook and condition play such a vital part in our attitudes to our disposition, any and all affirming practices can soften our reaction to our circumstances, facilitating an ease of our worries and concerns.

What direct role this pro-active participation plays in our health and well-being remains unquantifiable and therefore unmeasurable, but my every instinct chimes and resonates within my own body/mind and tells me that if I am relaxed and accepting I am better equipped to ease my own discomfort.

So, the opportunity to guide meditations and give the medical profession (in my very small way) insights into their own understanding of the realtionship between mind and body are possible deflectors for future positive outcomes.. The ripple effect, the butterfly effect and ....

The Law of Deflection.

To start a revolution we have to believe. The Organic Home believes that to achieve one's own aims and goals, a purity of intention, focussed and applied gentle effort and clearly defined goals are the 3 components to achievement.

What we put into our bodies, and what we put onto our bodies, and what we use around us in our homes all have an effect on our lives, health and well-being, and ultimately an effect ion all those around us, and indeed the entire world.

In the 1980's we came to understand the 'Butterfly Effect', in the 1990's 'Chaos Theory', and now in 2007 we will come to understand 'The Law of Deflection'

Have you ever tried to back-track an event to its initial cause, or even tried to rewind a chain of thought? The number of contributory factors are large, perhaps even infinite, but we can often identify a single pivotal event, which in its way acted as a crossroads in our lives, precipitating an enormous change in our destiny.

We can call these events... 'Deflectors' - Events that deflect and shift the trajectory of our lives, altering the course of our progress, so that over a period of time our destination point is far removed from our original destination. A single degree of shift in direction can result in an arrival point 100's of miles distant had that degree of shift not occurred.

The secret of the 'Law of Deflection' is that we can apply our own 'deflectors' in our lives to arrange a preferable destination for ourselves.

Each tiny component can multiply, and by using understanding, insight and wisdom we can set a fresh course for ourselves, our family, our home and the entire world by adjusting our interactions within ourselves, our bodies and our homes.

The Organic Home will create the conditions for an integrated deflection, changing the course of your life and the health of the World, by providing a single integrated source of home products, services, body products and nourishment, deflecting our destination from harm to health and happiness.

But, we ain't no group of bean eating hippies - we have good lives, but fun lives. Healthy lives but cool lives. We work hard but we play too... We are serious but we live here - integrated with our families and friends, we don't live on another planet, man...

Take the step, make the change, come and visit The Organic Home'. We are just like you.

Saturday, 23 February 2008

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